return my video game
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
