Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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