I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
