i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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