i already hear my dad disowning me
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
