Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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