No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
