i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
