i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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