there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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