I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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