he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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