sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Randomize
