I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So many bounce houses so little time
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
