when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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