I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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