Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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