I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
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Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
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Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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