I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
