Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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