you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
