just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
