We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
