I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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