I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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