It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
