ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
