so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
