I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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