so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
