i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
