My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize