fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
