Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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