Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
