sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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