You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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