Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He went soft
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit