that's an acceptable place to lick
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy