he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.