I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
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just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
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My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?