I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Houston, we have a blender
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
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Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?