Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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