I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The power of my boobs compel you
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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