How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
