In the future we'll all be gay
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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