but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
