Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
