You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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