4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
