I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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