Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
