We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize