This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
