What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
