Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize
