M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
