she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
