i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
