Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize