whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
