Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
