So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
