She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
