I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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