i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i believe in u and ur pee
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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