New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
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i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
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I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?