I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This is my gift to your gina
The uberlube is also flammable
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I FOUND THE LEGS
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.