Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize