Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.