These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The adults are the big ones right?