We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize