so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
