so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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