If i come over, it means nothing
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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